Having lived the past few months in a sleep-deprived state, I have come to enjoy and appreciate the beauty of the rhythm of day and night, sleep and wakefulness, and the quality of life that accompanies this rhythm.

No one can prepare a woman for how the first several weeks of motherhood will deprive her of that blessed rhythm, giving her cat naps instead. No one can prepare her for how she as a holistic being will be holistically affected. Lack of sleep will impact her physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

Though after three months I am getting more sleep than at first, there is no pattern to what my precious baby will do in the night. My day-dreams are now of sleeping for eight uninterrupted hours, of feeling refreshed when I awaken.

I was recently day-dreaming about some of my favorite memories of sleeping and waking refreshed. One such favorite memory is from my days as a camp counselor. After canoeing down the Potomac River to a beloved island (very appropriately named Poison Ivy Island) with only enough room for a few trees and some campers to sleep, we spread tarps, dig a fire pit, designate areas for boys and girls to separately use a dug out hole for their bathroom needs and settle in for the night. I slept near the fire, near the canoes, at the edge of a rapid. To fall asleep to the sound of that rapid was heavenly, and to awaken hearing it still was wonderful. To see the fog rolling across the river as the sun rose–this is an image I will never forget. These are precious memories, and more precious now that I have not felt physically refreshed in over three months.

Side note: I am not complaining, nothing in the world compares with the joy of seeing my little one’s face, hearing his coos, and spending my days with him; this is a role in life I would never willingly give up.

All this day-dreaming led me to remember that “times of refreshing come from the presence of the LORD.” I’m currently studying the book of Revelation, and in meditating on chapter one, there is a distinct focus on the presence of Jesus in the churches the letter is being sent to. He is not outside watching over the church, He is present among His people. In the midst of the struggles they face, He is a source of living water to them. And to them, and to us, He promises that in the future we will be living in His presence fully–and our current lack of refreshment or need for sleep will be forgotten, a thing of the past. My most refreshing nights of sleep here in this world are a living metaphor, a foretaste, of how amazing I will always feel in Christ’s presence.

Ahhh, now there is something worth day-dreaming about! And as you do, try incorporating a reading of Revelation 1.

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