The sweetest answers have come in my life when I don’t have an answer in mind before I cry out to God. Sometimes a prayer offered up to God looks more like a grocery list, or a “to do” list, or a list of demands. We are not offering up our hearts, but rather our expectations. Our prayers can easily become a request for God to do one specific action, “or else…” Or else we don’t believe you exist. Or else we don’t believe you hear us. Or else we don’t believe you are good.  Everyone has an “or else” in mind sometimes. Mine too often has been that God does not want to act on my behalf, but is wanting me to clean up my own mess.

This is where John Bunyan enters the conversation. Yes, he has been dead for several centuries now. And yes, most only know Bunyan as the author of Pilgrims Progress (to this day, a best seller). I have been discovering that he led a life similar to any of us (who are willing to admit our hearts deepest longings, our shortcomings, our needs, etc).

The joy of owning a Kindle Fire, for someone like me, is being able to very easily read several books at one time. Without even setting the device down, I can be in one book, then another, then the Bible, then back to book number one… My scattered brain enjoys this very much! So, in my not-so-frequent free time these days, I have been popping in and out of Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, by John Bunyan. This is his personal account of his coming to know Jesus, and being transformed by Him. Amazing.

Upon describing a struggle with believing Jesus could continue to love him despite his desire to sin and the ebb and flow of his own faith, I realized Bunyan’s struggle was one I am recently ebbing out of myself. The way he describes it reminded me that God has been in the business of answering prayers personally, and continues to do so today. He was attending a Sunday sermon with five points about God’s love from Song of Solomon, and the fourth point really stuck out to him:

But I got nothing by what he said at present; only when he came to the application of the fourth particular, this was the word he said; If it be so, that the saved soul is Christ’s love, when under temptation and desertion; then poor tempted soul, when thou art assaulted and afflicted with temptations, and the hidings of God’s face, yet think on these two words, ‘My love,’ still.

Bunyan wrestled with God, wondering if he was in fact God’s love. Did God really look upon him and say “My love?” He describes how these words would not leave his mind, and how they began to take root in his heart “with power” and to make a “joyful sound within my soul…” He was filled with comfort and hope, and knew for certain that if he was loved by God in this manner, then surely his sins were forgiven (the question that plagued his soul, the cry of his heart to know, the prayer he offered up to God.)

He wanted to know forgiveness, and the LORD said to Bunyan (through His written word) “My love.” Bunyan did not have a preconceived answer when he cried out. Jesus told His disciples that one of the roles of the Spirit would be to teach us truth, to remind us of His words, and to lead us in truth. I think what Bunyan describes is just that, the Spirit bearing witness to him, and applying the truth to his heart.

My own journey is not so different; I too need reassurances of God’s love. I recently had several weeks wherein I cried out with the burdens of my heart. I was weighed down heavily with struggles that I did not know the answer to. I had ideas of how to selfishly respond, and had I cried out to some people I would have found justification to act upon my selfish desires. Ultimately, my heart wanted to know more about God’s love for me, even though my main cry was against some identity issues (who am I? Why is such and such important to me? why do I feel so lonely? Should I quit going to… or partaking in…?)

One dear friend was praying for me during this time, asking the LORD to reveal to me a name or a word (remember, “who am I?” was weighing heavily on my heart) that I could cling to. And days later, He did. While I sat alone. I would have missed it if I were praying in the “Lord, do this! Thanks, Amen.” fashion.  I’m clinging to that answer still, and delighting to see how often He reveals it in His word, confirming to my heart that He loves me, and that His love will never change. Ten years ago, I found myself in a similar situation; the LORD gave me a picture to cling to, a scene. His words came alive in my mind and I painted (well, finger painted if I am to be brutally honest) that scene. It will never leave me, and when doubts arise I recall the gift of God showing me His desire for me in that way.

What words has the LORD whispered to your heart? Have you ever wondered if within His word is something actually for you? I pray you will be adventurous in your prayer life, asking the Spirit to reveal great and personal things to you, from deep within the heart of God.

For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God.  For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words.  1 Corinthians 2:10-13

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They walked with God, they saw Him, and He gave them everything they could ever want or need. Want. Or need.

They had the perfect love. They experienced God’s love, and loved one another. Their love was full, satisfying, and not marred by selfishness, greed, envy, anger, self-protective ways (i.e. hiding feelings, building walls, cold shoulder, looking out for number one, fear, etc).

They never had to work in ways that felt like work. Their food had no adverse reactions in their bodies (no high cholesterol, no high blood pressure, no diabetes, no obesity…) Work was fun. Work was enjoyable, and shared, as they tended the garden.

There was no fear. Ever. Of anything. (not lions, tigers, or bears)

All through the OT, God addresses the longing inside man that wanted to return to Eden. Perhaps this is why Isaiah 51:3 has resonated in my heart for years, in which God promises to turn all our “waste places” like Eden. Total redemption, as He will make everything crummy in my life perfect and whole and beautiful (keep in mind that I am not saying this promise has been fulfilled in my life, but that I know it will be fulfilled one day).

How does God address this longing? What is the longing? Sometimes we have numbed our souls to the point of not noticing the longing, or believing that we long for temporal things (like food, a party, a promotion at work, a vacation, a new wardrobe, perfect children, a perfect marriage, the home all our neighbors envy…you know what you wish for, it may or may not be in this short list).

While reading through Revelation it hit me. The promise Jesus proclaims He will fulfill as He ushers in the new heaven and new earth is that He will be our God, we will be His people, and He will dwell among us. There will be no fear, He will grant the security we have always wanted. We will experience unbridled joy and peace, and will not know pain or suffering or hatred or anything else opposed to love.

He will dwell among us, and our access to Him will be continuous, it will be the full and satisfying relationship we have been made to enjoy. As I pondered this, I could not help but think of Adam and Eve, as they walked in the garden with God, and talked with Him. During some of the darkest times in my life, all I have wanted was to crawl up into my heavenly father’s lap, to speak with Him freely as Adam and Eve must have; and this is the promise that those longings will be fulfilled.

God with us.

Our hope, heaven; far better than a return to the garden of Eden. A new Eden.  One that can never be marred. With love that can never be ruined. When we shall see Him, and be like Him…

Does this encourage your soul? There are days when my honest answer to that question is “NO!”  We numb our souls, and the effect is to not know what we were made to enjoy. To not be able to hope. We hope in what is sure, not what we are not sure will happen. Hence this promise, all through Scripture…and finally here in Revelation Jesus tells us the fulfillment of that promise is coming soon…

So for some reading, check out this non-exhaustive list of places to find this promise in Scripture:

Revelation 21:1-4

Exodus 6:7, 29:45; Leviticus 26:11-13

2 Corinthians 6:16

Jeremiah 7:23; Jeremiah 11:4; Jeremiah 24:7; Jeremiah 30:22; Jeremiah 31:33

Ezekiel 11:20; Ezekiel 14:11; Ezekiel 36:28; Ezekiel 37:27

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Celebrating the Gift of African American Spirituals through Expressive Calligraphy

By Timothy R Botts

I love music, and meaningful songs. The LORD has oftentimes used music to draw me to Himself, to reassure my soul of deep truths, to grant me joy or peace during life’s chaos. So naturally, I jumped at the chance to read a book with both the beauty of song and of visual art. Accompanying each song and calligraphic art piece is also some Scripture or reflection that accentuates the theme of the song. The book is organized in four categories: The Bible Story, Times of Trouble, True Testimony and Heaven Bound. This is a delightful book to keep on hand for times of meditation, my little son even enjoys looking at the artwork while I sing the songs. The only complaint I have is that the music is not included. We are already steeped in a generation that is not learning how to read music (songs are often sung with only words flashed on a screen). So, unless you already know the tune to all of these songs you will not be able to sing them–you will be left to read them as one would poetry. The words will live on in this beautiful collection of songs, but the songs themselves will not be sung by future generations stumbling upon this book.

I would like to thank Tyndale House Publishers for providing me with a complimentary copy of this book.

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“See.” Isn’t that a curious word. I used this word in many of my papers written for classes in my Master’s program. Many times I was reminded by my professor, Dr. John Morrison, that I was using words like “see” and “show” incorrectly. To see is usually something we do with our eyes, to show is to display something for someone else to view with their eyes. Jesus did not often conform to this usage, much of our visual world He used as parable for the spiritual realms, the unseen. I’ve been hopping through the book of John, studying how Jesus spoke about His words, His Word, His teachings, His commands, the prophets and the law. This began as I was irritated by someone’s words about not wanting “doctrine, theology, Scripture…” but wanting Jesus. My heart sinks when people try to separate the Word of God from the Word made flesh. Unless you know Him, it makes no sense–but if you do know Jesus then you must admit He claimed to be the Word of God, He alone made God manifest to His people. Why does it make no sense? And why do we challenge it when we are in the midst of some of life’s troubles?

Without the light of Christ in our hearts, we are in the dark, we cannot see let alone understand. If we cannot see or understand, then our best efforts to interpret the world around us are in vain. Yes, we can understand how life seems to work; we have a sense of what ought to be but isn’t (“that’s not fair!” etc) and we have longings that lead us to believe life has a purpose. But in the dark, that is all we have.

“I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness.” John 12:46

“Whoever sees Me see Him who sent Me.”  John 12:45

“For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” 2 Corinthians 4:6

“And we have something more sure, the prophetic word, to which you will do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star arises in your hearts…” 2 Peter 1:19

To see Jesus, we cannot choose either side of the pendulum, this is what the Spirit reminded me of this week as I studied, pondered, and eventually let go of my pride (which I mistook for a desire to love what is right). One side says it loves the Word so much that our concern is for the Word; but they end up separating the words from their God, and worshiping their understanding of the words found in Scripture. The other side of the pendulum swing is to fight against the so-called-Pharisees who “love” the words so much by walking away from the Word. They want to hear from Jesus but demand to do so apart from His words. They crave experience and closeness and think it can only be had away from what they deem “head knowledge.”

To see Jesus is not to take either side, but to realize our God created us as rational beings with faculties for understanding knowledge and then Who spoke in understandable ways. We do well to read His words and cling to them, to hide them in our hearts, to let our mouths never be without them, to study them and meditate upon them and love the God who spoke to us in so many ways. To see Jesus we also need to admit humbly that without the Spirit of truth, we know nothing, and we will twist His words. He is at work in us to shed understanding on the words we read, to speak so lovingly to us in that still-small-voice of His as we pray; but never in contradiction or addition to His Word. We ought not to crave an experience more than we crave Him.

For a little light reading, I highly recommend a sermon by Jonathan Edwards, on “A Divine and Supernatural Light…” (free to Kindle users!). I cannot agree with his dualism, but this is a very encouraging read.

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The Battle for the Moral Heart of America

By: R. Albert Mohler Jr.

I was delighted to see this book offered by Multnomah Waterbrook Press. This author is very knowledgable, has a deep passion for both the Word of God and the people of God, and both of these traits come out in his writing. This book is no exception. He writes for the “common man” though, so this book is great for all ages, and for all who are seeking to learn about ethics from a Christian perspective. This isn’t your typical ethics textbook though, he tackles very up-to-date topics. Each chapter is on a different topic of interest, so the book does not necessarily have to be read from cover to cover. The chapter on the public school system piqued my interest, as a parent who will one day be making the decision on how to best educate my child. He covers such diverse topics as natural disasters and our response, political involvement, science, medicine, the beginning of life, the end of life, character, relating to people of other religions, and many more. This book will both challenge your thinking, enlighten you, and encourage you as you live your day-to-day life.

I would like to thank WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for giving me a free copy of this book to review as a part of their review program.

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Advent for the nation of Israel meant waiting for Messiah. The prophets spoke of the Day of the LORD, and they eagerly anticipated that day. Advent for God’s people now means eagerly awaiting His coming back. All of scripture is full of promises of His return, and promises of our future glory…promises about our home, our real home, the one our souls long for–though sometimes we think our souls are longing for presents, and parties, and days off of work…

Over the years, on each day of Advent, my husband and I would walk through Scripture passages about the incarnation, what it means for faith, what it accomplished on our behalf, and what it  teaches about redemption and hope. This year, with much less time on my hands to prepare our “advent wreath” (a wreath I made, and each year attach little scripture scrolls to) I find myself wondering how to celebrate.

To start, I am filling this first week with “O Come, O Come Emmanual.”  I am reminded of truths taught in Ephesians that Christ came to bring peace amongst people so that there would be one people of God. One people. A popular form of theology teaches that God has one plan for Israel and one plan for the Church. Silliness. God has one plan, period. He made the two people into one, and has for us One Hope. So we can sing loudly, asking Emmanual to come, knowing He is not the Messiah of only the Jews, but the Messiah of all types of people! This is good news. So we all, who eagerly await His return, know that He has one plan for the future, one hope for us all, one home that He will take us to.

I encourage you this Advent season to ponder that home, that hope, and whether it is not really that which will fulfill all your desires, rather than expensive Christmas gifts.

The people who walk in darkness will see a great light; those who live in a dark land, the light will shine on them.  Isaiah 9:2

In Him (Christ) was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it…but as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.  John 1:4, 5, 12, 13

…remember that you were at that time seperate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one and broke down the barrier of the diving wall…so that in Himself He might make the two into one new man, thus establishing peace…so then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household… Ephesians 2:12-19

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ… Philippians 3:20

so Christ also, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time for salvation without reference to sin, to those who eagerly await Him.  Hebrews 9:28

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The answer to these question is revealed by the true God. It is good news indeed that He has revealed Who He is, and how deep His love is. Where do we find these answers? They are not “within” so stop searching your own thoughts; they are not “out there” waiting to be discovered. God is a God who delights to reveal Himself, and does so through His Word. Jesus taught that those who “abide” in His Word will be changed by it, and know truth, and be free from the things that formerly enslaved us (another topic for another day! But yes, you are enslaved by whatever you obey, and by whatever consumes you).

Sometimes it is difficult to believe that God is compassionate. Or that He is “there” at all. Not because He simply is not showing compassion, but because we’ve decided that “compassion” means  something it does not. Example: some believe that a compassionate god will rescue me from ever feeling pain or working through a struggle or having any of the “growing pains” that come from my old self dying and my new self emerging in His image. We have falsely defined compassion, and thus falsely defined our compassionate God.

Our compassionate God describes and defines His terms all through Scripture, and gives many examples (the book of Hosea being a great place to start, Ezekiel 16 being another chapter–showing that God knows our languishing hearts and pursues us to draw us out of our misery), and teaches how available it is to us through the New Testament. For any of God’s characteristics, there is no one magic verse to spell it all out. Abiding in His Word means reading and thinking upon and meditating on all of Scripture, and so yes–it is a lifelong adventure of getting to know the one true God (John 17:3).  But don’t let that discourage you, for there is great comfort and joy in knowing who God really is, knowing what He has promised, and learning to hear His voice above all others in this world.

Sometimes the better question to ask is not “where is this God? Why has He failed me?” but rather “why am I disappointed? What did I believe about God, and is that belief true? What does God reveal about Himself concerning ___fill in the blank____?”

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No one can prepare a woman for how the first several weeks of motherhood will deprive her of that blessed rhythm, giving her cat naps instead. No one can prepare her for how she as a holistic being will be holistically affected. Lack of sleep will impact her physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

Though after three months I am getting more sleep than at first, there is no pattern to what my precious baby will do in the night. My day-dreams are now of sleeping for eight uninterrupted hours, of feeling refreshed when I awaken.

I was recently day-dreaming about some of my favorite memories of sleeping and waking refreshed. One such favorite memory is from my days as a camp counselor. After canoeing down the Potomac River to a beloved island (very appropriately named Poison Ivy Island) with only enough room for a few trees and some campers to sleep, we spread tarps, dig a fire pit, designate areas for boys and girls to separately use a dug out hole for their bathroom needs and settle in for the night. I slept near the fire, near the canoes, at the edge of a rapid. To fall asleep to the sound of that rapid was heavenly, and to awaken hearing it still was wonderful. To see the fog rolling across the river as the sun rose–this is an image I will never forget. These are precious memories, and more precious now that I have not felt physically refreshed in over three months.

Side note: I am not complaining, nothing in the world compares with the joy of seeing my little one’s face, hearing his coos, and spending my days with him; this is a role in life I would never willingly give up.

All this day-dreaming led me to remember that “times of refreshing come from the presence of the LORD.” I’m currently studying the book of Revelation, and in meditating on chapter one, there is a distinct focus on the presence of Jesus in the churches the letter is being sent to. He is not outside watching over the church, He is present among His people. In the midst of the struggles they face, He is a source of living water to them. And to them, and to us, He promises that in the future we will be living in His presence fully–and our current lack of refreshment or need for sleep will be forgotten, a thing of the past. My most refreshing nights of sleep here in this world are a living metaphor, a foretaste, of how amazing I will always feel in Christ’s presence.

Ahhh, now there is something worth day-dreaming about! And as you do, try incorporating a reading of Revelation 1.

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Did you hear that? If you are a Christian, then you are a beloved child.

As I look into the face of my nine week old son, my heart floods with love so overwhelming that I know it does not come from within me. As I hold him, and talk to him, and care for his needs, and feed him, and play with him–I am struck with thoughts that I know do not come from within me. How can I possibly love him so much? How can I love him even though he robs me of sleep?!!

Then I am struck: I love only because God first loved me, apart from His work in my life I am incapable of truly loving. Self will always taint the love of one who is separate from Christ. “Love” in the life of one who is not united to Christ will be selfish, and therefore is not really love at all. If I love this baby boy, it is by God’s grace at work in me.

The most striking thing about these words, “as beloved children,” is still this–the comparison between earthly families, and God’s family. My love for this little boy is so small compared to the love that God has for His children. The way my heart wells up within me is a fraction of what God “feels” for His family, for me. The thought that I never want to stop holding my beloved little boy is nothing when compared to God’s promise that nothing will remove His children from His grasp. Could He really feel that for His children? When my baby boy falls asleep on my shoulder, it is a new picture of my clinging to God; and the love that I feel at that moment is a new reminder of the deep love the Father has for His children that cling to Him, and run after Him as children welcoming their dad home from work, and follow in His footsteps as children who imitate their earthly fathers.

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Once, before I was regenerated or redeemed, the Law was acting as my tutor. This tutor was designed to show me my need for a Savior. This tutor was to remind me that God does not help those who help themselves, He helps the helpless, the ones who see–as they look into this mirror of the law–that they are nothing more than lawbreakers. This tutor is a guide, a constant reminder of my need of grace. The law serves a glorious purpose in God’s plan. Christ said He came to help the sick, not those who are well; so it is with His Word–it is a guide to the sinner, a tutor to the one needing redemption.

Galatians 3:23-27   But before faith came, we were kept in custody under the law, being shut up to the faith which was later to be revealed. Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith.But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor. For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.

How is it that Paul jumps so radically from the concept of being tutored, to being clothed? While being tutored, one is shown ones neediness and filthiness. While clothed, others will be able to look at that one and see the clothing. Is Paul saying our focus should be the outward appearance? No, for we do not clothe ourselves with our own works or with our own righteousness or with our own efforts and ideas. Rather, when faith comes (notice the tense of this action, faith came to me and not the other way around) then Christ becomes for me a covering. Can people see Him when they look at me? If they do, it is because of His work, not mine; His glory, not mine.

The ending of this chapter is so radical. Though we are talking about clothing, this closes the topic by stating that outward identity does not matter in the Kingdom of God.

Galatians 3:28-29   There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise.

In Christ, segregation cannot exist. There is no distinction between type, between races, between the sexes, between classes. Christ clothes you and the only identity that matters is “Christian.” God has one people (not two, not several), and this one group is comprised of the true descendants of Abraham, the only heirs of God’s blessings.

This led me to contemplate once again that my identity in Christ is about being, not doing. If I am Christlike, as a stay-at-home mom, my life cannot be measured on my day’s accomplishments, but on whether I am clothed with Christ. If I am clothed with Christ, I will serve, rather than strive to accomplish. Is my life about serving as Christ came to serve, or about doing and being recognized, as most Americans chasing their dreams? Today I will not be building any picket fences as I try to serve my family.

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